Abducted!
by Invader Mirk
Summary: Dib is abducted by two aliens and fused with an Irken. He then crash-lands on Irk, and is forced to eke out a life there while trying to find a way back home.
1. Taupe and Chrome

Copyright notice: I don't own Invader Zim or any of its characters, including Dib. But I do own Chrome and Taupe.

I woke up yawning to a bright day, the sun streaming through my windows. Then I looked at my clock and saw that it was three in the morning. Everything flashed bright white, and then went black.

I opened my eyes; unsure of the time I had been out. Trying to move my hand forwards, I realized that I was suspended in some kind of fluid, apparently without my glasses. I was unable to move, so I couldn't tell if I had any clothing on. A shape moved outside the tube. It was tall, and looked green-skinned. I was momentarily afraid that it was an Irken, but I could tell it wasn't by its light brown eyes and lack of antennae. The creature touched a pad with a spindly finger, and the fluid drained out of the tank, plopping me heavily onto the floor of the cylinder. The vat retracted into the cold, damp metal floor.

With the glass gone, I could see the beast in all its horror. It had a smooth, dome-topped head, with sunken cheeks. Its eyes were sinister, foreboding, and brown, the same color as the rest of its body.. I saw that the fingers I thought it had were actually long claws, on dinosaur-like arms. A long robe that trailed the floor obscured its legs. It leered at me and turned to shout.

"CHROME! It looks like it can walk. Do you want to do any more tests on it?"

Another alien, similar, with shiny silver eyes, seemed to float over the ground to stand next to the other alien. It lunged at me and poked me in the stomach with a claw, knocking me over. "Hah hah, Taupe, you think this thing can walk, much less stand? Pick it up and give it a shove. If it can't, we'll shoot it into space, and hope it doesn't land on Irk." My eyes widened. These were aliens, and they had something to do with Zim's planet!

The brown-eyed alien, identified as Taupe, bent down and held out its arm. "Grab on," it snarled. I shook my head, and it grabbed me by the hair and yanked me upright. I screamed in pain – being pulled by the hair wasn't supposed to hurt this much! My hands shot up to the top of my head, and felt, among the greasy mess of my hair, a pair of somethings smooth, slick, and warm. They twitched. My eyes darted down, and protruding from beneath my trench coat were two hideous, green, two-toed feet. I glanced at my hands, and observed that they were also green, and three-fingered.

A horrible scream emanated from my transformed innards, rocking the aliens' saucer. Of course, it stopped when it reached the icy vacuum of space. Whatever these monstrous, horrifying, barbarous, vulgar archfiends had done to me had merged me with the disgusting Irken race. Words cannot properly express my mortification at being mingled with the foul aberration-relatives of my mortal enemy.

I bolted, my feet chilling on the freezing floor. The aliens bellowed angrily, and gave chase. We threaded around the banks of suspended-animation pods, knocking several over and spilling the creations onto the floor. The ship rocked with explosions – with the aliens pursuing me, they were unable to steer away from the shots of the planet below us. I dove into a recess in the wall, padded comfortably. The aliens sped past me, looking around. My comfortable cubby began to shake, but I assumed it was just more weapons fire.

Suddenly, a plate of metal slid down between the niche and the rest of the craft. The space lurched, and I heard a hiss as it departed. Too late, I realized that the alcove was not a convenient hiding place, but an escape pod. The pod careened through space, pulled by gravity to the planet.


	2. Crashed

Copyright Notglaaabbbaaaakghjice: I don't own Invader Zim or any of its characters blah blah including Dib blah. But I do own the MYSTERIOUS IRKEN GIRL who shall not be named as of yet.

As my escape pod hurtled towards the ground of the dismal-looking grey planet below, I could see, through a convenient window in the hatch, Chrome and Taupe's spacecraft explode. I clapped my new hands together and cheered through an unfamiliar throat. After the fireworks ended, I sat back in the comfortable but small space and waited to land.

By the time the pod started getting warm with reentry, I had fallen asleep. It started to shake, and it got so hot that my uncovered skin blistered and burned. In space, nobody can hear you scream, even as your flesh is scorched off. I was still screaming when the pod rammed into the ground, making a long furrow. It hit something, jarring my head. I blacked out for the second time that day.

Something prodded the bones of my right claw. I groaned and flopped my head around, and the thing poked me again. I opened one eye, and saw the world was blurry. My glasses must have fallen off my now glowing-red eyes when the pod crashed. The poker was a green shape with two purple orbs in its face. I tried to feel around for my glasses, but I couldn't move my arms, for lack of muscles. Somebody slid my glasses onto my face, and I could see. My mysterious benefactor was a middle-sized Irken girl, thin, with dark violet eyes, light skin, and long antennae, dressed in a long-sleeved, ragged shirt and a pair of matching pants.. If she were human, she would probably have been pretty.

She crouched down next to me. "Don't try to say anything. You screamed your glottlestroke raw. I can see why, with your poor bones being all scorched... but it'll grow back if you get plenty of rest and good food. Then you can tell me all about what happened to you, and your name, and why you have hair like one of those filthy humans."

Gently, she put her arms through my underarms and lifted me. She carried me to a hugely tall structure, honeycombed with doors and windows. I wasn't sure what the windows were for, since there wasn't much else to look at, besides more similar giant buildings. I was carried through the ground-level door and up an antigravity tube. The pair of us got innumerable strange looks. After several minutes, we arrived in a small apartment-like setup, with a single small bed, a closet, a refrigerator, and one of the walls taken up by a viewscreen.

The girl laid my immobile form on the bed, on my back, and covered me with a blanket. "Stay there," she ordered, and laughed. "I don't suppose you could move, even if you wanted to, but don't try to roll off or anything. I'm going to see if I can get some cream to speed the healing process..." She waved and strode out the door.

I laid in the bed staring at the metal ceiling, thinking about how much my life had changed in such a short time. I'd been abducted, changed into a totally different species by vicious aliens, shot in an escape pod down to the home planet of my enemy, had my extremities incinerated, and finally had been brought to a strange alien girl's apartment to stay for an indefinite period of time. My stomach growled, and I realized that I hadn't had anything to eat or drink in probably several days, depending on how long the abductors had kept me in their tube, and how long I'd lain on the ground outside. Immobile and having thought about all the recent transpiring, I soon nodded off.


	3. Hospital

A soft shaking awoke me from my slumber. My eyes creaked open to meet the concerned ones of the girl who had taken me in. I grinned weakly and croaked, "I'm lying in your bed and I still don't know your name."

She blushed a dark shade of purple, almost matching her eyes, and replied, "I see you can talk... My name's Ira. What's yours?"

A spasm of coughing racked my immobile body, from the pain of speaking with a meat-raw throat. "Dib."

Ira nodded, and kneeled on the floor next to the bed. "I'm going to turn you over and put the cream in your pak, so it'll pump the stuff through your bloodstream." She put her hands on my shoulders and rolled me over like a turkey. I was extremely startled as she inhaled sharply. "You don't HAVE a pak! We have to get you to the hospital!" The girl swept me up and ran at full speed before I could explain that I didn't need one.

The doors to the hospital opened with a hiss, and we barreled in. Ira lobbed me down onto the ditzy receptionist's counter and nearly screamed, "HE HAS NO PAK! He must have lost it when he crashed! Is there any way you can get him a new one?!"

I rolled off the counter and stood up indignantly. "I don't need a pak. I don't even know what a pak IS." The receptionist screamed for a doctor.

Ira patted my head. "You're just delirious. Once we get a new pak on you, you'll be fine." A grotesque creature hopped out of one of the many doors spaced around the room. It had eight arms and one huge, webbed foot. Many multicolored eyes hung like fruits on stalks on top of its bulbous, headless body, and bits of it were metal-plated with readout screens. One of its six-fingered, flexible hands held an enormous drill. Another hand reached for me, a hatch on its palm opening and spritzing out a thick green mist. I slumped to the floor and fell into a deep slumber.

I was greeted when I awoke by an enormous orange eye of the doctor-thing. Five of its hands prodded me for signs of injury while the other three washed off the menacing-looking tools. The drill was covered in a dark-green glop, which I quickly recognized as my own flesh and blood. The creature made its way over to me in great, low leaps. A slash appeared horizontally across its body, and it opened to reveal a cavernous mouth totally covered in deadly sharp teeth. The monster looked like it was going to fall in half, but instead gusts of stinking breath washed over me as it spoke in a buzzing monotone.

"I have just installed a standard-issue civilian Identification Pak in you, citizen. It includes spider legs, object relocation device, binoculars, jetpack, memory drive, atmospheric processor, charger, laser cutters, claw, ID plug, shield generator..." As it was droning, I slipped out the door and tried to run out of the building altogether, but Ira, who I hadn't noticed sitting down, grabbed my arm.

"Looks like you're fine now. We need to find a place for you to live."

I felt anger bubbling up inside me. Out of my new ID pak sprouted a quartet of appendages – I'd seen them on Zim before, and I recognized them as the 'spider legs' the doctor had mentioned. I reared up on them, towering over Ira. "You've dragged me all over the place, doing ridiculous things, when I've clearly been alive for more than ten minutes without your stupid 'pak'! You're controlling and pushy and I don't need you!" One of the legs shot out and slashed her. A pained expression crossed her face as she clutched at her abdomen, trying to hold her organs inside. Blood leaked between her fingers. Her eyes clouded over, and her pak gave off a great shower of sparks before exploding and annihilating the body totally.

I looked on in horror. One of the aliens sitting around had the sense to stop gaping and press a small button on the wall. An alarm started blaring, and seven huge robots smashed through the walls. They aimed giant miniguns at me and fired.


End file.
